Did your husband somehow gain the upper hand over you? Is he now restricting your ability to see your own children? If it’s honestly unwarranted, you’ve got a “restrictive parental gatekeeper” on your hands. For your child custody case, determining how best to deal with parental gatekeeping will depend on your situation and the facts. We’re well familiar with some of the scare tactics men may use to limit and harm their ex-wife, using the children as a means to gain leverage and to get revenge. To combat abusive parental gatekeeping tactics, we offer the following recommendations for your child custody battle.
Seek Professional Legal Counsel and Protection
Hire an experienced family law attorney. Properly advocating the facts and knowing the laws, a good lawyer will be able to cut through the blocking tactics of your husband and truly serve as your best advocate.
Child custody is always complicated. If you choose your representation poorly, you’ll be at an immediate disadvantage. Moreover, you’ll need professional counsel to help you address the abusive parental gatekeeping of your husband, especially if false and manipulative allegations are involved.
Focus on Your Children, Not on Getting Even
Be sure to do what’s best for your children. You need to be a good, loving, and reliable parent with a child-centered focus. Resist engaging in any games or acting out in anger and frustration. If anyone tells you it’s time to match your husband’s twisted approach with equal manipulations or worse, such advice will set you up to lose. A family law judge will be looking both at you and your ex-partner, and will decide who’s most trustworthy, honest, and consistent. Let your gatekeeping ex-husband be the one to look bad—not you.
Keep a Detailed Accounting of His Parental Gatekeeping Games
Make a record of each parental gatekeeping roadblock thrown your way. Keep a log in which you can write down dates and times, arguments, missed or canceled calls and visits. Print out and keep records of any nasty emails you’ve received and back up recordings of any vicious voicemail messages he’s left for you. Having solid documentation of your ex-husband’s restrictive parental gatekeeping moves will help you reveal your ex-husband’s games for what they are. The adverse consequences of his behavior will be his alone once you’re in family court, especially if you’ve kept your hands clean.
Be Patient and Let Him Look Bad On His Own
Exposing your restrictive and cruel parental gatekeeper for who he is can also help the court draft the proper court orders to end his restrictive parental gatekeeping tactics. You may even gain attorney fees and sanctions against your ex-husband due to his cruelty. Let him be the bad guy. Your ex-husband may get his due in court, and you, a better outcome in your child custody case.
Let Us Fight for Your Rights
Just because you’re the mother, there is no guarantee you’ll win a fierce custody battle. Securing the right professional counsel could be the best decision you make when going up against the manipulations of restrictive parental gatekeeping.
To contact an experienced family trial lawyer who exclusively represents women in child custody disputes, call the law offices of Paul H. Nathan at 415-341-1144 or fill out our online contact form.
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