You and your spouse are separated. You know there will be a fight over the California custody arrangements for your children. You are stressed. You have no idea how this will turn out. Your soon-to-be ex is bitter and vindictive. What can you—as the kids’ mom—do to prepare for this fight? Paul Nathan, a Marin County child custody attorney who exclusively represents women in child custody matters, offers the following suggestions.
Honestly evaluate your parenting skills.
Does the father have a legitimate concern? Is there something about your parenting skills that would raise red flags for other, more objective people? Of course, no parent is perfect. We all have traits that we could improve upon. Think about what you could do to change your parenting style for the better and then do it.
Prepare to deal with negative facts.
If you’ve done something in the past that you are not proud of, your children’s father will likely bring it up in court and in pretrial negotiations. You need to have a plan in place to address any negative facts. Work with your attorney to develop this plan. Be prepared to show how you’ve learned from your mistakes and how you’ve changed for the better.
Focus on your strengths.
What do you do well as a parent? What are your parenting strengths? Find those positives. Make a list. Your attorney can highlight this information in dealings with the other side and in court.
Tell your lawyer everything.
Be completely honest with your attorney. The only way he can help you is if he knows the whole story. Tell him anything you can think of that might be relevant to the situation. If he’s an experienced family lawyer, he’ll know how to separate the facts that matter from the facts that don’t.
If you are facing a heated child custody battle, call someone who can represent your position.
Contact Mr. Nathan, an experienced San Francisco family lawyer who exclusively represents women, to discuss your case. You may get in touch with him at 415-341-1144 or by filling out our online contact form.