The divorce is over and—without too much bickering—you and your ex-husband have agreed on child support in California and decided to share custody of your child.
Even if the adults in the family make the transition as easy as possible, the children may be disturbed by the divorce more than you expect. Whenever a family separates into different houses, the children tend to have the hardest time adjusting to their new life. As a parent, you want to help them feel comfortable with the situation and to be just as confident as you are that the right decision was made.
Here are five things you can to do ensure a smooth transition to separate households when you enter joint custody with your ex-spouse:
- Maintain open communication with your ex-husband. In order to keep the best interest of your child in mind, you and your spouse must openly communicate about important matters in your child’s life. This will help your children still feel as if they have two parents instead of feeling divided between two houses.
- Limit how much you talk about your past marriage with your kids. Your children will most likely have a number of questions about what happened in your marriage. Limit your answers to these questions and stay as positive as possible about your ex-spouse.
- Do not relay messages through your child to your ex-husband. It is tempting to avoid having to talk to your former husband and instead relay a message through your child, but this can be difficult for your child to bear. Instead, always speak directly to the other parent.
- Avoid discussing negative thoughts of your ex-husband with your child. If your child support in California is late or your ex-spouse has gone against your wishes, keep these matters away from the ears of your children. This will only upset them.
- Stay honest and straightforward with your child and ex-spouse. Honesty is the best in any relationship. Stay as straightforward and honest as you can without being negative.
Joint custody is difficult and does not always work out to be in the best interest of a child. If you have any questions or concerns about your current situation, contact me, a family law attorney in San Francisco, for help knowing your options. You can connect to the Law Offices of Paul H. Nathan at 866-414-4091 to schedule a confidential consultation about your situation.