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The Law Offices of Paul H. Nathan

Advice from a San Francisco Divorce Attorney: How to Say Goodbye to Your Hot-Headed Husband

Paul Nathan
San Francisco Divorce & Custody Lawyer Representing Women Exclusively

You have made the sad realization that, in order for both you and your husband to be truly happy, you may need to file for divorce in San Francisco. While this is a very difficult decision for any woman to make, doing so with the fear of how your husband will react can make it even harder.

Often, hot-headed husbands do not take the news in stride. Instead, the news of your decision is met with rage. This can leave you afraid to talk to your husband or tell him how you feel about your plans to dissolve your marriage. But staying in an unhappy home is not a solution either.

To help you overcome your fears and move forward toward happiness, here are five tips to make going through a California divorce with a hot-tempered husband easier:

  1. Limit communication. When you allow your soon-to-be ex-husband to communicate with you, you enable the rage. Limiting contact with your ex allows both of you to calm down and heal during this emotional period in your lives.
  2. Share your feelings with someone else. Counselors and friends will tell you that talking through your divorce can be therapeutic. While this may be true, it is important to consider who you are reaching out to. If your ex has a tendency to lose his temper, it is probably not wise to divulge your feelings to him.
  3. Anticipate the worst. You know your husband inside and out, and you know how he could react. Plan for his worst reaction so that you can be adequately prepared.
  4. Do not fall into the blame trap. While you may feel as if you played some role in the dissolution of the marriage, do not let your ex berate you. Instead of admitting mistakes to make him feel better, focus your communications on finalizing the paperwork and moving forward.
  5. Avoid co-parenting situations. Your kids do not need to be exposed to his rage, especially when his anger is directed toward you. Whenever possible, avoid entering a co-parenting situation until the court has ruled otherwise.

Going through a divorce is tough enough without having a temper to fear. Fortunately, you do not have to go it alone. Contact our San Francisco divorce attorneys for help with your case, and get the legal help you need to fight back against your ex-husband’s fury.