Q: Things aren’t going well with my spouse. I’ve been on the fence for years about whether I should leave him. How can I gain clarity on this decision?
Many of us take a minute to reflect on our lives as one year ends and another begins. If you’ve been grappling with a difficult decision for years, this may be the year you should resolve to take action – one way or another.
Deciding whether to leave a marriage can be the hardest decision a person will ever make. People often tell themselves they are just in a low point or going through a rough patch. But, if you’ve had more low points than high points and more rough patches than smooth days, how will you know when enough is enough? At the same time, indecision can be crippling. You may feel like you are in a holding pattern, waiting for your real life to begin.
As you reflect on your marriage this year, consider these points:
- You’re going to have to try something different. Doing the same thing hasn’t helped thus far. You probably need to step out of your comfort zone. Try counseling. Go to therapy. Read self-help books. If you are not ready for that, you may not be ready to fix your marriage.
- A marriage takes two. If your spouse is not actively trying to work on repairing your relationship, there’s not much that you can do. Of course, you can instigate positive changes, and these changes may lead him to change his ways, too. But if you have invested time and effort and he has not, nothing will really change.
To discuss a possible divorce with an experienced family law attorney, contact Paul Nathan. He represents women in Marin County divorces. To get in touch with him, contact the Law Offices of Paul H. Nathan at 415-341-1144 or by filling out our online contact form.