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How to File for Divorce While Evading Your Husband’s Plans for Vindictive Drama


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11/6/2014
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You know from your own personal, tortured experience that being married to a narcissistic husband is no picnic. Divorcing him will possibly be the hardest thing you’ll ever do. His all-consuming self-centeredness, the manipulative and controlling mind games he plays, and his talent for turning everything into something about him—these will all increase with greater intensity. All his behavior will become more vindictive and abusive than ever before, as he tries in every way he can to punish you for leaving him.

Face-to-face meetings and phone calls will put you at risk for more heartache, and they will be unproductive at best, providing only more chances for your narcissistic husband to argue with you, belittle and humiliate you, and control you more. To minimize the verbal and emotional abuse he’ll throw your way before, during, and after your divorce, you should keep all direct communication to a fact-based and emotionless minimum. Email correspondence will serve you as the best way to distance and protect yourself from your narcissistic husband.

Three Major Reasons Email Is the Way to “Talk” to a Narcissist

  1. Email allows you to address the necessary facts and leave emotion out of it.
  2. Each of you will have time to think before you respond, defusing the situation.
  3. The text of any email your narcissist husband sends you can be entered into the court record, if necessary. If your husband is smart, he’ll realize that the preserved record of email doesn’t help him, and he will pull back from his usual manipulative behavior. If your husband is not so smart, he may end up regretting the messages he’s sent you when the judge reads them.

Your husband will find it difficult to accept that his influence in your life may be coming to an end. Consequently, as part of his narcissistic nature, he will attempt to continue to control you and hurt you. If you have children with him, he’ll try to involve himself in any way he can, as if he cares, to micro-manage every aspect of your co-parenting relationship. How much damage he’ll be able to inflict upon you will depend on how respond to him. Rely on email; be blunt and to the point on a need-to-know basis only, and thereby cut out the drama. Limiting direct communication with your narcissistic husband will be the key to controlling your responses, and to regaining control of your own life.

If you’ve had enough and feel ready to leave your narcissistic husband, let the San Francisco legal team of the Law Offices of Paul H. Nathan help you. We understand the complex manipulations and dirty dealings of narcissistic personalities, and we will not be intimidated. With compassion and unflagging effort, we will work to secure the best possible outcome for you and your specific situation. Don’t wait any longer. Contact us today using our live chat or online contact form.



Category: Divorce

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